you will have those times when you feel down, they get easier over time though. To help this you really need to stop analyzing everything so much. Does it really matter her exact conversion? Will it help you achieve your goal? Will it change the sitch or what you do?
This is part of the loving detachment you need to work on. You need to be able to take her not going out like a friend would, not a enstranged lover. Even if things were great there would be time you wouldn't be able to spend together.
She is talking with you and opening up to you about her concerns with her life. That is really positive and shows that she still wants a friendship. You need to be there for her as a friend, and hopefully it will develope back to a closer connection.
Start working on the detaching, look at your relationship now as a friend. Be there for her when she needs you, and learn to be ok when she can't be there. Your needs have to go to the back burner for now.
Start working on goals for yourself, and always have a backup plan for when she cancels. Go out and have fun and start working on your live, she will see this and hopefully will want to be a part of it.
You have to come to a point where you don't need her to be happy. You have to become happy without her. That will allow you to not be hurt as much, and having her back will just be icing on the cake that is your happy life. I have just recently learned this, so I know its a lot harder to say than do, but it can and must be done.
Lastly, let her some to your looking to spend time. I think calling her to ask her to do things so often is pressuring her. You really want her to pursue you. It wasn't until my W worried about losing me that she started coming back.
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
