DR Chapter 2 - Think Small

[marc_d]

Well, Im feeling a little down today and felt upset most of yesterday. I think its because she turned down my offer to go out because she had a lot of cleaning to do around the house. I guess she also wanted to keep her dad company. I know these are valid reasons but I became upset still.

I went to school and did some reading and I thought that would keep my mind busy but it didnt. I got really down last night. I went to church before I went home and prayed, and cried too. I felt better when I left but the emptiness came back when I got home for a while and hit me this morning like a ton of bricks when I woke up.

I guess the reason I am upset is because I feel that after giving her space to tell her family in January about us, I feel like I lost some momentum. But, maybe not. Maybe when she told me on New Years weekend how its not too late and we just need time, she scared herself about letting herself be too open to me too soon so she backed off a bit?

I also think I should not have tried to ask her out so soon again. Maybe I should have attempted to make this an every other weekend thing. Well, at least I have not been visibly pushy to her, or upset.

Also, she told me how she was helping her sister bake stuff for her sisters and BF's anniversary. Her sister asked her about our anniversary coming up and saying isnt it going to be 8 years? And my GF was kind of just like, whatever and avoided it. It was hard hearing it but I didnt let it get me down too bad. I think I really have to try to make plans that day to keep me side tracked. V-day is going to be rough too but my friend from CT is going into NYC for the day with his girl and he asked me to meet them laster in the day for some drinks so at least I can get out and do something.

I have an appt. with my counsler tonight, so I hope I can get some good feedback from her.