Adventures of Supermom...JennyF's 2nd thread

[JennyF]

Well, I think I just backslid.

H and I got together to go over the finances and make some decisions regaring Christmas spending money.

This conversation led to one about his recent actions regarding selling the house and moving his bank account.
This led to conversation about our M and how things came to be the way they were.
I tried to validate. But I don't think I did very well.

I know that validating doesn't equal agreeing, but it was very hard given these circumstances to try to explain my point of view.
I tried really hard to explain that I understand that I played a part in the breakdown of our marriage. That I wish I could go back and change those things and I'm working on myself now. But the truth is, it doesn't make a difference. He told me again in no uncertain terms that it is over between us. His choice is made and is does want to live with the OW.
He confirmed to me that he "CHOSE" to stop loving me. He also said that in 3 months most people would be further along as far as letting go than I am. I said...did those people have a baby in there?
He just doesn't see how is perception of EVERYTHING is so skewed right now. It is hard to validate him when he is being quite unreasonable about how he thinks I should be feeling or where he thinks I should be at.

I am so confused right now. I don't what I'm doing anymore. I have tried to be so strong and to be so positive and focused. I wasn't expecting hope from him today...but the finality with which he speaks about things is so determined and is with such certainty.
Do I still believe he is in some kind of life crisis? Yes. But now I'm having doubts as to whether he is going to come out of it. And if he does, I don't know if that will change how he feels about me. By the sounds of things today...not a chance.
I don't know what else to say. I know I have to let this go and focus on me regardless. I am doing my best, but it doesn't seem good enough right now.

Damn him.
J~