Originally Posted By: Lillieperl
You don't have to stick together every single minute... if both of you can get away and do the things you would normally be doing if the cancer weren't in the picture, there's nothing wrong with that. Why WOULD you want to think of the cancer every single minute? Your desire to get away from thinking about the disease does not mean you are being disloyal to IC, kwim?


Lilly,

That is the problem...when I am around IC, that is the dominant thing on my mind...instead of just enjoying. So yes, I tend to avoid a little more than I normally would.

I have to catch myself when I'm around him. I find myself falling into that protective mode of "how is he feeling? He probably shouldn't be doing this, you need to rest, you're working out too much, you need to eat more etc...." He is constantly reminding me that he is good, feels good. I guess the only time I have to agree is when he's naked and I get to see the results of his working out Does this mean I need to keep his azz naked? or probably just buy him some new clothes for Christmas that actually fit his leaner, buff self \:\)

I think back to our Thanksgiving weekend and how special it was and how at ease I felt then...I'm just trying to get back to that place again. I want to be by his side but then the thoughts of the cancer creep in and I have to get away...so yes, I feel like I'm not being loyal to IC in this manner