still trying...update

[LuvMyHusband]

good morning everyone,
I really could use some advice here. You know that my D8 has been sick and I have been too. So I am trying to make sure I don't react either bc I am anxious and scared or bc I just don't feel well.

Apparently my H has been away from his parents house for the last few days. When D8 wants to talk to him, if she can't reach him on the cell, she calls the grandparent's house. She was told he was at a seminar. Last night I had to call there (bc) of her, and MIL told me that she wasn't expecting him back until tomorrow.

H has never told me that he was going anywhere. In fact, he has made it seem like he was still there. He called yesterday afternoon for business and it was really noisy in the background, as if he was at an airport. I laughingly said "where are you? it's really noisy". He said he was at the mall and there were F18's flying over head. He said he was at home depot buying mortar for the fireplace he is tiling for his parents. Ok.

Well, after I got off the from MIL I realized that he hadn't been there for a couple of days. They obviously knew where he was but he sure hadn't told me anything. Additionally he would not answer his cell phone which really upset me as he knows how sick D8 is and it could have been anything.

It seems like he doesn't think I should know anything about him. He keeps me totally in the dark about his life and activities. I don't know why he does this but it does tend to make me feel as if he is doing things he shouldn't be and is hiding it. I don't know what he is doing, where he is or who he is with. I say that bc Thursday night he told D8 he was out with a friend. Yeah, what friend??

I am trying not to overreact and don't want to assume the worst but if it was innocent, why wouldn't he tell me? I know I have a tendency to assume the worst and be reactive. I have been working on those issues but could really use a different perspective. Also, what should I say to H? I am starting to feel further and further away from him. I also feel like he is "sending me a message" that he really does want out and has no feelings for me or even his kids for that matter. He never likes to be the bad guy so maybe he is waiting for me to file so that he doesn't have to.