H said our M is "platonic"

[Corri]

BF:

I'll never love again, I am an island, I am rock, I am Alpha Male stuff... has its limits.

I have said repeatedly, I am not an alpha male. I have no desire to be. even Mojo told me I need to integrate alpha and top. the rest is a lame attempt. I am a human. I need and have family, friends and R's. I was a placating wuss who lost his W when she lost her attraction.
Stop changing the focus.

Yes, you ARE human, but, to me, your writing did not reflect that in your post to LFL.

So what's he waiting for? LFL doesn't have to go with him. She doesn't have to approve. He can go do what he needs to do to feel he has done everything to save his marriage.

He isnt here. she is. so why are you talking about what he should do?

Because, as LFL reported, that is what HE SAID to her. So, if I were LFL, I'd say to him, "You don't have to wait on me." Again, as you say, talk is cheap. My comment had nothing to do with whether he is posting here or not.

This is so convoluted and contradictory its ridiculous. The best I can decipher you are mixing me and Mr, you and LFL into one example. Do you want to drown this in the minutia of ass covering and should bes, try to argue with me, and be tough pointy shoe wearing Corri, or do you want to give LFL some real insight into the pain and life upheaval and self destructive behavior, that comes in the wake of a D.

Didn't sound convoluted to me. As an LD, it sounds like he's pushing off responsibility for all M fixing and piss poor sex life onto LFL... because he IS willing to accept the M/SL as platonic. That is a typical LD deflect. So is saying that he'd go to counseling. Let's SEE some ACTION on his part.

Please point out one instance of my disrespect. If you truly think I disrespect women, you should implement a boundary and not call me friend.

Now look who is dropping 'shoulds.' I can take care of my own actions, friend, thanks.

I do not disrespect women. That doenst mean I respect toddlers who run with scissors. I do what needs to be done before they fall down and jab their eye out, even if the necessary steps causes them to stop laughing and cry. Personally I think your projecting.

How you posted to LFL, to me, was incredibly disrespectful. That's IMHO. If she doesn't have issue with it... okay. But when you say, as an example of how you DON'T disrespect women "That doens't mean I respect toddlers who run with scissors. I do what needs to be done before they fall down and jab their eye out, even if the necessary steps causes them to stop laughing and cry."

Sounds to me like you are comparing women to toddlers who must be taken to task. Not as adults who are capable of claiming accountability for their own actions. LFL, to me, is doing a lot of venting here... but I think she is also owning her behavior, and I don't hear her 'blaming' her H for any decision she may or may not make. As a matter of fact, it sounds to me like she struggling with her thoughts/opinions/actions on the matter, and she is being HONEST about it. That's how we women typically work through things.

And no, I'm not projecting onto you. At least that was not my intent. If that is how you heard it, how I came across... sorry.

In traditional marriage vows, the man doesn't say respect and honor. He says cherish and protect. What that implies, is that it may take work and effort to accomplish what is said by the vow giver. Lord knows Ive made it clear I dont FEEL why I have to protect a woman from OM and maintain fences.

So what? I personally think that statement you made up there is a load of crap. But your statement and my opinion of it has nothing to do with LFL. Your vows may not have said that. Great. And just because YOU see it that way, doesn't mean that LFL does, or even that her H does. So I'm thinking that maybe YOU are the one who is doing the projecting here.

I would hazard a guess women dont FEEL why they have to show respect and honor. If your next post contains ill aimed jabs at me, or what Mr. should be doing, its going to be a onesided convo.

Yes, it is a guess on your part. And thanks for the warning.