I am sorry that things have come to this and you cannot make the SOB pay for playing his part in the whole thing. We have statutes in NC which talk about alienation of affection..does your state have that? Basically makes the 3rd party liable for breaking up the marriage.
In the meantime man...keep looking at those babies and know that they will need you now more than ever. I hope you have a good lawyer and get everything you want out of this.
Prayers and thoughts sent your way man.
mcol Me: 34 Deployed W:32 (EA started Oct 07) S:8 D:3 S:18 mos ILYBNILWY-12/14/07 Request for backdated separation 12/14/07 Top areas to work: 1) Communication 2) Repairing me, focusing on me