Sun -
I will pray for you today. I know where you are...it is, indeed, a growth spurt. You won't hate him forever......but you need to be separate from this man somehow.

I do agree to let him make the wrong turns. I can tell you, without a doubt, and as firm as my life is about things - that it is truly all about control. Your H is worse than many. Nasty and mean. But control.........what an issue. It's huge, especially with the male ego. Sorry....don't mean to be "bashing" the males........but ego is HUGE. Even down to a simple turn in the "right" direction.

it's not worth it.........but one of these days you will get to the point where you will no longer say anything about anything to him any more. I see you growing.

I remember a huge arguement with my first H. It was so huge and big and stupid and mean and from that day forth I set my mind that it would never happen again and he would never get my heart again to beat down like that. He never did. And we divorced...but not for that reason.

I determined, also, that I would learn to not shut myself off like that again because walls are tough to break back down. There is a middle road. You don't want to become bitter and angry like your H is now. But you do want to just move out of the way cuz the steam-roller's a-comin'. Save yourself the frustration by cutting off the stream of bullsh!t that happens when you "correct". You know an argument will come now. It's not like the old days. The old days no longer exist Sun. That husband is gone. It will be a long time, if ever, before he returns.

I think we LBS keep hanging on that the R we had is somehow going to return if we stand. No, it doesn't. It's different, but what you had is lost. It has been destroyed.

That doesn't have to be depressing tho. You can grow and bloom just like the cactus in the desert. That's what God does for us. You keep going in the direction you're going. I see you getting fed up. Your "fed-upness" will help you grow into the strong woman you need to be to handle this situation.

I love you, and you will be in my prayers today.


brue

I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine.
Life is good for the Brue!