Your H doesn't want to lose you, but he doesn't recognize the depth of your wounds
That's it exactly. How could he understand? Maybe that is why I am bringing up separation now, subconsciously I want him to feel how horrid I felt? Maybe. I tell myself I don't want to hurt him but I'm sure a small part of me likes to see him in pain over the possibility of me ending it this time. Not good. But honest I think.
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know you don't have it in you do initiate the lionness/sexy stuff ( hey, either do I), but how about a sneaky snowball launch??? and then jumping on him. It's friendly aggressive stuff! Go have fun with him and the kids, LFL! ( and give me the chocolates).
But I hate snow RJ. No, I am going to sit in front of the fireplace with my chocolates (just got jumbo size bag of peanut butter filled M&Ms for the occasion)and veg out. Actually I'll incorporate your playful advice and I'll try and beem H in the head with as many chocolates as I can. That should work.