I'm sorry I didn't take the time to go all the way back and read all of your thread...I did however skim over it and saw a few things I would like to comment on.
Being from an overbaring family...I can understand where your Girl Friend is coming from. Family members just want to make everything ok for the people they love. They look at the situation and see the simple resolution and push for that. I the case of you GF - it would be better for them as a family to have her still be with you - because as you say - they love you. But, to get to that point, Family members do not understand the dynamics involved. To them, you just do it...but often expressing that...can do more harm than good.
Michele herself warns that family members often make this worse rather than better. I would stop going to them completely...I would only answer direct questions and then only what is needed....don't volunteer anything.
Be supportive of your GF's attempt at keeping her family out of things. The more they push you at her...the more she will run away.
She sounds like it's not you she is trying to be independent from but the family. If you are acting like a tight member of that unit...you might be sacraficed in order for her to meet her goal. Be prepared that she may not be able to express any of this to you. It took me a long time to understand that that was what I was doing.
My suggestion, the next time you get a call to come over and hang out with family. Why not just say to GF - "hey, I really like your family and all, but I think we need some time away from them, don't you? How about I take you to dinner instead".
As for the e-mail you shared in your last post. I think she is trying in her own way to ask you for help. Her family appears to be draining on her...see what you can do...but be careful...there is a balance here...even if they are draining her and she wants to be free...she still loves them and you have to be careful what you say about them.
OK? Best of luck, hope you had a good holiday.
State Flower
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you make of it." Zig Ziglar
