Ah! the holidays. I don't think there are any secrets really.
I just had a look back through my threads and found the one that covered that first Christmas. If you get a minute have delve through - I was in a different place back then. So a lot of it is just time.
Here's the bit about putting the tree up 2005: "Evening and following tradition D11, S14 and I decided to put the Christmas tree and decorations up. We have always done it the 1st weekend of December. Co-incides with the 1st Sunday of Advent. And boy was that a bad idea. If you want a test of your inner strength then this is it. Of course it brings back memories of all the previous Christmas' AND yes most of them were pretty good. Etc, etc, etc. Me and the kids just choked up. I must have been giving off serious negative vibes. No detachment there then. MUST try harder. Funny thing is I can go for weeks then all of a sudden I start plumbing the depths again. It's that time of year I guess. Sat down and had a beer - just chilled for a few moments. That seemed to do the job."
So it's getting some new traditions too (if you need to). I think you told me that Matilda.
Now I try to anticipate what's going to be the toughest bit for me and make sure I find something to occupy myself. So if I have opportunities to meet up with people (family, friends) then I'm gonna take them. I'll treat myself. Or just go for a walk. Anything.
At this time of year I think it's inevitable that something will trigger those feelings of sadness. I just think it's good to not always fight them and to sometimes allow myself to reflect and to feel. Does that make sense?
