What Happened?

[familyman dave]

I'm new to the board. Hope I'm doing this right. I've read a number of threads - they are very helpful. Here's my story. W and I started counseling early last year Off and on twice a month.(have had a long up and down marriage) Thought we were both committed to making things right. Felt things were improving based on her actions and words. Had serious discussions about our relationship and sold our house end of April (private offer - too good to turn down). Don't have to move immediately. Bought another home intended to be the one for eventual retirement. Closed escrow on purchase end of August. Took a 1 week vacation first week of september. She said she had a great time. Two weeks later wife informed me she loves me but is not in love with me (and has felt like this for long time), feels I deserve someone better and moved out. How could I have missed all the signals. Why would she have continued the real estate transactions if she felt this way? Said she needed separation to sort things out. 2 weeks later told me she wants a divorce. We have talked a number of times. She tells me she wants to remain friends and even go out once in awhile? We've had dinner a couple of times. I didn't bring up relationship. She keeps in fairly frequent contact with me with emails and occassional phone calls. Even did some joint Christmas shopping together at her request. Had been more than a month since she mentioned divorce. Didn't know exactly where things were. Had a telephone consultation with a DB coach during this week. Was told this sounds like a MLC. Was encouraged after and trying to educate myself with DB concepts. Received initial divorce papers today. Thought I was ready to deal with things. I'm in shock and feeling very numb today. Trying to keep telling myself there is still alot of time to try DB concepts but now feeling very discouraged. What next?

Me - 52
W - 50
3 grown children
Married 31 years
Separated late september
Bomb dropped today
Married - 31 years