The whole holiday thing is really difficult and sad, especially with kids.
I don't know you, your wife or your sitch...but I'd still bet a million bucks that her comment was pure MLC. She forgets that you exist, and she probably has lost her capacity for empathy...so there is no way she would have anticipated: "oh yeah, I had the kids at Thanksgiving so I'm sure sleeper will want them at Christmas" In my own experience and two years of reading these boards, that is totally beyond the capabilities of MLCers. JMO, of course.
That doesn't rule out guilt.
Good luck,I'm sorry you are having to face holidays like this. You will get stronger, and your kids are lucky to have one emotionally functional parent in their lives right now.
