DR Chapter 2 - Think Small

[marc_d]

Hey everyone. Well I made a little mistake but not with my GF, but with her sister. For those who have been reading my situation, you know I discussed the situation with my GF oldest sister a few days ago in an attempt to relieve some stress she is getting at home about where I am and why she is going out with her friends more than me because they dont know yet.

Anyways, Since I told her I thought maybe I could look to her as another person for support. BIG MISTAKE!! I talked to her about things over lunch today and she is too pessimistic about things. I know I have to focus on myself at this time which I have! But also part of the changes I have made are to influence my GF too yes, but they are also making me happier too and thats what matters. Anyways, she is too negative towards the situation and is angry at her sister and doesnt appreciate that my GF is going through some rough emotional times, and I think thats mainly because her family is a big part of the problem. She is already mad at my GF so I think she is too biased. She doesnt trust her and I noticed this many times before. Deep down I guess I know I shouldnt listen to her but Im always looking for more support and encouragement but I guess I need to be more careful on who I ask for it.

I spoke to my good friend who I have been sharing everything with, and even though he has never read DB books, he has all the same answers. He helped me forget about what she said somewhat but I guess I need more reassurance.

Her sister scared me a little because her friend told her a few weeks is a break, but after 7 months its more like a break-up, but I dont think they understand the situation.

Really quick, for the first 3-4 months my GF told me she always planned on being with me but she just wanted time to herself to make new friends and stuff. I never was truly supportive of it and kept questioning our Relationship and it eventually made her think I had doubts which gave her doubts. So after getting the I love you but not in love with you speech I realized I am not doing something right and I bought this book and saw counseling.

Since then I have backed off and she has opened lines of contact occasionally andthere have been moments where I felt her coming around but I know I backslided once in a while. and 1 1/2 months ago she hugged me from behind after a night out when i dropped her off. Thats definatley a sign of affection.

Anyways, I know my official no more backsliding started November 1st and it started out great but all the distance I was giving her made her family question her more and more and now she feels like she is being controlled by them and that she cant be an individual. Like she is supposed to be with me according to them. There has just been so many obstacles and mistakes on both ends which has delayed us so many times.

I guess what Im getting too is, time isnt always a factor right? Sometimes it just takes a little while to get to achieve your goal. My friend told me if I can focus on being her best friend right now and helping her through her family problems and so on, that that will make a big impact on her and that with all of what we have together from the past 7 years will be sure to bring us back.

Any support is very much welcome. please.