WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..(2)

[jab]

Today was another good day, not as good as the previous two, but still a good day. W came over again w/kids for dinner. This time I tried to 'lay off' a little bit. I know W had a long night last night and didn't get much sleep so she wasn't as 'cheery'. I didn't want to act too 'needy'. No R talk today.

Conversation included W talking about some guy at work that she rode with to go pickup some dinner for co-workers last night in his 'very nice hummer'. W talked about how nice the vehicle was & how much money he made (you can really tell that my 'insecure' feelings were creeping in tonight). I just tried to brush off those feelings, it was hard.

Conversation with W also included talking about her plans next week to go out w/friends (this was planned awhile ago) for a nite out. W saying it was going to be a late night and same guy she rode in hummer with last night was getting a hotel room for co-workers as a late evening meeting place to talk, have a few drinks. W then saying how she probably will leave there and stay at one of her girlfriend's house instead of going home (due to the drive/distance) & then come over to my apt in AM to get kids. You all know what I was thinking! Well, I just offered to W (cheerfully) if she wanted to come here to sleep instead, she was welcome. W immediately said, 'oh, maybe I will. U can just give me a key and maybe I can crash at your place instead.' She didn't say absolutely yes or no but a solid maybe and W seemed interested in the option. When W was leaving, she also leaned over to allow me to kiss and hug her, I didn't have to 'reach' for it. W initiated physical contact, but it was brief, not like last night.

W is gone now and this is the first weekend since I moved into new apt. I have kids until Mon morning so W is free all weekend without kids. I know it's going to be hard for me. This was such a good week I just wanted to tell her to come over here again this weekend sometime because we have so much 'making up' to do (but I didn't). I keep thinking of the goal, W wants some space, some time alone, I have to keep my word and give that to her. I have to do my part in this. I wish I could go to her xmas parties, go home and sleep with her, do so many things now that she acts like she may want to work on R/M, hasn't acted tense around me for a few days now, but I still have to wait and keep my cool, let her pursue me a little more.

At least I have the whole weekend w/kids & I can get alot of personal things done. I haven't called her since the move out but she has called me several times and has come over 4 dinner twice (both in a good mood). Maybe more time to herself will bring her even closer. It's getting easier knowing W still has feelings for me, but it's still hard doing this.