Today was a day from you know where at work! Good news is I get to go to the Cavs game tonight. Someone I work w/ gave me four suite tickets! I'm taking the Ds and D15's friend. Didn't ask H since he never says no to anything, but only seems to go out of pity. Don't know if Ds told him we are going as I had told them yesterday. Trying to GAL!
I am so glad I took Ds and D's friend to the game tonight. We had so much fun! It was great to just enjoy the game and the great seats and not worry about saying or doing the wrong thing around H. H did call as we were on our way to the game. Asked if he wanted me to call when we got there. H said to send a text. Well, I paniced getting off freeway and called to ask about turning on a street. I was right and should have just gone with my gut instead of looking like I needed him. We did do some chatting then and H was impressed w/ how quickly I made it downtown. H never mentioned me taking D's friend instead of him. I didn't even tell him we were going, D did.
H had called in the afternoon to see when we were going to the game. Yes he called me and I had not contacted him at all today. Told him we were going after Ds skating. H said he would be stopping by the house to get stuff for tomorrow. I thought he said Sunday that he would start doing that during the day when we weren't here. Hmm. I figured he would be gone before we got home from the rink but he wasn't. I'm sure he wanted to see both Ds. Dinner was in the oven ready so I offered him some. H declined. It was on of his favorites so I offered a to go plate which he also declined and said he didn't feel good. H looked very tired. Don't know if he is getting sicker or he didn't get a good nights sleep last night. Looked like he slept in my bed while I was at MIL's house. Didn't make it in the morning.
H came by in the morning to take D10 to school. We didn't talk much, but I was pleasant. H called after I dropped off D15 to ask if D10 was sk8ing today. I guess he didn't check the schedule for the week. (I don't know if he was using it as an excuse to call or what. I haven't called him since our blow out on Sun.) We actually chatted on the phone for more than 5 min. which is a lot for us these days. H is spending the evening w/ Ds because I have a work commitment. H asked when I would be home. Told him I would probably be done around 8 but needed to shop so I'd be home around 9 if that was ok. He was good w/ that.
Feeling pretty good today. H made dinner for Ds last night and cleaned up. D10 said he did dishes so I wouldn't get mad. H said that was true and I said it was reasonable. We had a laugh over that. Postive interaction last night before he left. D15s school was delayed this morning so I had to call him about that. I went out to start my car and commented that I should have done it sooner because of ice on it. H went out to scrape which I said he didn't need to do. He was half way done when I went out and I told him I would finish. He said no but I insisted, said I had on a hat and gloves and wasn't sick. H said ok and went in. May have offended him some. Anyway he sent a text later to say he bought me new wiper blades. I sent him a msg. thanking him for the blades and the scraping. I am to have girls tonight so I'm interested in seeing how long he stops by tonight.
Not much going on tonight. I noticed when I got home that H's bag was already gone and he stopped at the house during the day. Asked Ds if he said he wouldn't be stopping by, but they said he didn't say. H called at 6 and said he did have his things. I mentioned that Ds didn't know he wouldn't be stopping. H said he would like to stop by so he did for about 45 min.
Shared some very good finacial news that will basically take care of Ds' educations.
Talked about visits w/ Ds for the next week and Christmas. Told him I want to spend Christmas w/ them and that I was planning to take them to ILs. Said I don't know what you have planned. H didn't say so I don't know what's up for the day. H is planning to take time off after Christmas and plans to spend a couple of days w/ them. Maybe I should book a stay at a spa. I sure deserve it.
I to thinking while reading some of the posts in JennyFs thread. 1. In our last "talk" H made some positive statements about me and us, but he doesn't want to move back or work on us. ie. H wants an intimate act that happened a couple of weeks ago to mean something. I believe that it did mean something but he doesn't want to admit it. THat would mean he still loves me and their is hope. H has never said he doesn't love me, but when I questioned him once he said "I did love you then." I think he is so afraid to admit he was wrong about us being over.
2. H has still told very few people about us. I finally told his mom this week and we have been S since the end of Oct. His Dad is the only family member H has told and that is because his dad figured it out. I think H is afraid of what people will think and say. I think H is still into keeping up appearances.
3. I know I don't want H back right this minute. I love him and I do want him back, but not until he is out of this black hole.
Ds are at a friend's house so I'm off to wrap Christmas presents. I am buying all of them and wrapping them because when I asked H he said do what we have always done.
It's great that your H is doing things like scraping off the car and buying you wiper blades. My H has really stopped doing these things...you'd think with a newborn he'd go out of his way. The gentleman in him is buried so deep!
Hope you have fun wrapping...I really have to get myself motivated to do this. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
It's great that your H is doing things like scraping off the car and buying you wiper blades. My H has really stopped doing these things...you'd think with a newborn he'd go out of his way. The gentleman in him is buried so deep!
Hope you have fun wrapping...I really have to get myself motivated to do this. J~
Thanks Jenny. I am trying to lower my expectations and that has helped. I know I can't be with H the way things are now. I have to keep reminding myself that a lot of changes need to happen first. I had a talk with a friend of mine last night. Did a lot of venting and she did a lot of validating which I needed to hear. She also told me how she is amazed at how well I'm holding it together. I have had many people tell me that.
Ds are at a friend's house so I'm off to wrap Christmas presents. I am buying all of them and wrapping them because when I asked H he said do what we have always done.
Not really enjoying the weather. Our snow has turned to rain. YUCK. I was hoping to take Ds out sledding today, but it is too wet. I wouldn't mind if school closed tomorrow, but that isn't going to happen.
I went shopping yesterday while H spent day with Ds. They stayed home and didn't do anything exciting. We all went to Ds Christmas sk8ing show last night. H and D15 sat with ILs. I was running around helping and changing D most of the time. Sat behind H and next to FIL when I was sitting. H talked and joked w/ me a little but not much. H made sure the snowblower would start when we got home so I could clean the drive today if need be.
H stayed at friends apt. last night. They are going to football game today. H said he sold his other two tickets. I don't believe him. When I was snooping in the fall I found out he took EA1 and her friend. He never told me that because I had already told him I didn't like them spending time together. I would put money on him taking her today. I have no clue what is up with her and her H. I am hoping she gets canned at work when there are changes in a few months.
H has a history of helping needed women in our 22 years. I know that history needs to end if we are ever to get back together.
I am so glad I took Ds and D's friend to the game tonight. We had so much fun! It was great to just enjoy the game and the great seats and not worry about saying or doing the wrong thing around H. H did call as we were on our way to the game. Asked if he wanted me to call when we got there. H said to send a text. Well, I paniced getting off freeway and called to ask about turning on a street. I was right and should have just gone with my gut instead of looking like I needed him. We did do some chatting then and H was impressed w/ how quickly I made it downtown. H never mentioned me taking D's friend instead of him. I didn't even tell him we were going, D did.
Not much going on tonight. I noticed when I got home that H's bag was already gone and he stopped at the house during the day. Asked Ds if he said he wouldn't be stopping by, but they said he didn't say. H called at 6 and said he did have his things. I mentioned that Ds didn't know he wouldn't be stopping. H said he would like to stop by so he did for about 45 min. 