One foot in front of the other....

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks guys... I cant stop analyzing the conversation. Im starting to think she is starting to prep me for her decision to move to another state with OM.

Its like she wants to be my friend so I will let her take D with her if she decides to move to another state.

Just a day ago when I met with L, she told me she wouldnt be suprised if W moved.

I hope she doesnt move. :-(

[LL44]

I don't see that at all in the conversation. I really don't. Trust me, that would be my worst fear as well, but I don't see it. I see your W as losing control, realizing what a mess her life is, and finally..maybe finally...realizing that she isn't putting her daughter first.

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks LWB... you are truly a great friend and I find strength in your words.

Thank you.

[NoCodeBlues]

Hmmm, sounds like your W is prompted by some guilt somewhere in this conversation, some remorse, maybe. Although it's hard to say if it's guilt for what she has done, or for what she is doing now, or for what she's contemplating doing.

I would expect her to feel some guilt for what this is doing to her D. That shows she's not someone willing to abandon their children, and that's good.

H4C, you handled the convo. extremely well, I must say.

[Yoyowife]

H4C,
I must ditto everything that everyone has said on here, you handled that very well. You were calm, cool, and collected.

On DB's home page, have you read any of Michelle's articles? Your way of handling the situation reminded me of this article:

http://divorcebusting.com/a_while_spouse_decides.htm

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks for the link Yoyo.. Thats an interesting letter.

I guess Im torn because I think I need to protect my daughter but the only way to do that is to file.

Filing will really drive a wedge between W and I and potentially push her closer to OM.

This is all so scarey for me but I know I can make it through this, somehow.

[Hurtin4certain]

Daughter called me at 630am this morning... she couldnt sleep. My W has to start driving into the office (she used to be able to work from home) which is about 80 miles from her house.. as a result, OM will be watching my D (according to my D).

She is scared... I cant let this continue, she is not comfortable living there anymore.

[SueS]

H4C-

Yeah, I would NOT feel comfortable with my D spending time with OP, especially when your D doesn't feel comfortable with him and you don't even know him.

I know this probably puts more stress on your W, but your D comes first here. Your W put herself in this situation.

SueS

[Hurtin4certain]

Sue...you are exactly right. I cant be scared of how W will view this. I want my M to work but I cant do it at the expense of D.

Im just waiting on my retainer for the lawyer to get here and I will move forward with the legal process.

I really dont understand why my W would come to me with all her stessful issues and ask me for advice... isnt that what the OM is there for?

[Hurtin4certain]

Journaling...

Feeling a little discouraged today. PMA isnt where it should be. I went to the gym and lifted really hard tonight.

Ive been thinking alot about W lately, I miss her. I miss just talking with her and laughing together.

THis whole process is so hard, yesterday I was fine. Today has been really hard on me. I know I need to focus on myself and not on her but I just have this empty hole in my heart that I cant seem to fill.

H4C