Well, Dom, you've left us widows pretty much out in the cold, haven't you?
Originally Posted By: Dom
I think that having a longstanding positive history, of potentially half your life, with one person, cannot be matched by a relationship with anyone else.
Yeah, someone who marries at 25 and divorces at 50 could marry again at 50 and be married until 75.
I think long marriages are great. And I think people who hit obstacles and work through them and stay married a long time are fortunate and blessed. I'm not against them. I'm not suggesting they should get divorced just to introduce variety in their lives.
I'm just asking why it is automatically assumed that a long marriage to the same person is better for most people than two or three marriages to different people over the course of a 75 or 80 year life span?
My parents were married 43 years and were miserable most of the time. When I was in high school I used to wish they would get divorced and find other people so perhaps I would have a chance at a normal family life. My father died in 1989. Finally at age 80+ my mother has figured out how miserable she made him. (He made her miserable, too, but I don't know if he ever figured that out before he died.) She controlled him. She blocked him. She rained on all his parades. He would have been SO much happier with someone else. But they were good Catholics and stayed married. What a waste, I say.
ETA: Frankly, hairdog, I see mrs hairdog having a similar insight should you (God forbid a zillion times!) predecease her. She'll realize how miserable she made you, and it won't do either of you any good. I guess there could be some small satisfaction for you in picturing her standing over your grave, weeping and begging you to forgive her.
