NikB's latest update (#23)

[NikB]

Jak and ST - hi! Thanks for visiting.

Jak
You know me too well.. having a kind of melancholy day today, sort of "rebound" from having a good night I think. I need to keep that detachment going, for sure. (both from H and from my dad's sitch.. more on that in a sec).

I saw on your thread about your H's dad - I'm so sorry!! That must have been really hard, I can't even imagine.

ST
Very true.. beyond tipsy actually, I was being generous.. . He wasn't even walking real straight in the parking lot! So yeah, trying not to think about it too much.

That's a very good point about the stuff with MIL and SIL. And yeah, I completely understand that he talked to them, vented, whatever. I need to put it out of my head, it's just hard wondering what they dislike me for.. but it really doesn't matter.

Hmm interesting perspective on the dating/pedastal thing... hadn't thought of it that way. It doesn't necessarily feel good (more like he's afraid of really pissing me off and making things get ugly..), but obviously I really don't know for sure! I need to keep that in mind.

Yeah, I'm glad I had plans too - and that I stuck with them.

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I am sooo overwhelmed today. I drove past a sign saying 11 days til Christmas and practically burst into tears. I've gotten almost no Chrismtasy stuff done yet!! I planned to do a lot today but wasn't much in the mood. I did just finish my online shopping - and figured out what to get H so that was good as it was stressing me out (got him a DVD player... he hates the one we have that I bought awhile ago, and this one's got all the features he wants - I figure best case scenario we have a nice DVD player, worst case we'll have two, so one less thing to buy if we don't work this out!).

I had promised myself not to get all last-minute-stressed-out this year so I'm mad at myself for letting it happen anyway. On the positive side though - usually I do all of H's family shopping and wrapping too. Without having all that my list is MUCH shorter, so that's good. My bro and SIL decided they don't want to exchange "stuff" this year but instead treat each other to dinners throughout the year - awesome idea!! (and helps alleviate some stress too)

Going out shortly to finish shopping and then will start either decorating or wrapping - I'm sure I will feel MUCH better when that's done!

I think some of my funk is from calling to check in on my dad. He heard the stress/overwhelmed tone in my voice and kept pushing and pushing about "how bad are things with H?" - I honestly think most of my stress was the holiday thing but he got me going on so much about my M that it got me really down. And then of course he's upset about his sitch too.. so that's hard.

Ok.. shaking off the negatives!! Time to get out shopping, play some good music, have fun, and make some progress on my to do list. Then dinner tonight w/friends so I'm really looking forward to that.