A question about your past sitch...

[MaxP]

IAChild, thanks for the input, I will check out the successful men thread.

ediemarie, it sounds like life has been pretty tough for you, with many ups and downs. My W also complained of losing sight of who she was, she also claimed to have changed / grown and implied that I hadn't. It is true that we did too much together and she lost her identity through that and grew to resent me. I didn't realise that I too, had lost sight of who I want to be and what I enjoy.

I think that through being happy as an individual, great happiness can come from the R too. They will come to compliment each other. It's a very strange place to be when you suddenly can't answer the question as to why you are not happy on your own. It's an easy trap to fall into for some of us. It sounds to me like you are moving in the right direction, which is good.

In my case, I have just found out my W is now considered part of a couple with her new man, an old university friend. She declared our R to be over 6 weeks ago after 3.5 months of separation. I do not know how long things have been going on between them, but it has to have been more than 6 weeks. The guy she is now with is very laid-back and has the kind of intense eyes that you notice all the women around him falling for. Perhaps my W has always harboured a thing for him, and now she can play out that fantasy. Who knows. Right now, it feels very final for us. This is the reason for my question.