I'm not feeling very motivated to do anything...got to reverse this somehow.
I'm starting to really feel the distance between H and I. I have to admit it's scaring me a bit. I haven't felt the need or want to reach out to him in weeks and right now I feel as though I want to. Can it really be that our connection is totally gone for him?? I know he is so deep in the tunnel that he can't see it...but is it possible that it is gone altogether? Why am I suddenly doubting this?
I think he's starting to act somewhat nicer to me there are glimmers of my old H...but he still doesn't want anything to do with me or our marriage. I don't get it.
What I would do to speed up the ending of this R with OW. If not for that I feel as though he would have nothing to lose by giving us another chance. I pray to God every day to help guide him. Our kids deserve better than this. My brand new baby boy deserves to start his life with a family in tact.
This is so frustrating!!!
Gotta go...crying baby. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
