Wow...Nik I thought you were talking to me. Its what I need to do as well. Very good post.
I have been saying all along that making whatever contact there is on your terms gives you back something that was taken....your self esteem and some control of your life. I doubt it will make or break him coming back.
He is a cake eater blindsided. He hasn't had to deal with any consequences of his actions yet. He has 2 women at his disposal. What a perfect world for a loser, dysfunctional guy! Back off and let him see you took yourself out.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!