Don't know what I'm doing anymore - Help.

[ann25]

Ups and downs last night. i'm doing some venting journaling here... kinda long.

My truck needs the brakes replaced. they just started giving me a little squeak yesterday. We had been planning on visiting w/ my family last night and H calls me on the way to my office to tell me that he doesn't want to drive back and forth all over because of the brakes. I know how my truck works. I can easily take it in on Monday and get them done. He knows this. It kinda comes across to me like he doesn't want to see my fam. I tried not to get upset, but this happens alot. If it's seeing family, something always happens last minute to get out of it. I explained to him how important it was to me and that i haven't seen my grandparents in over a year and i haven't seen my cousin in 6 or 7 years. after some debate, he said "fine" and love you, goodbye. I said it back, but apparently he didn't hear me and thought i hung up. He said "whatever" and hung up. unnecessary drama. He was pissed off when he picked me up. It took me like 20 minutes of explaining that i did say it and that i was still there even when he said whatever and hung up, for him to relax a little.

later, we are driving and He tells me how he cleaned some stuff today at home. nothing got finished, but he started lots of things, so at least it won't take as long later.
M:"i appreciated it. i know that he was busy and it means alot that he would take the time out of his day to help me with the housework."
H:"i didn't touch the closet cause it's a mess in there."
M:"i know. with all the presents and paperwork(that is where we've been keeping it), i really need to go through it. I'll do it this weekend"
H:(super negative tone)"i don't know what's wrong with you. you just can't keep things clean. if it were just me there, that house would be spotless. you are just so messy. i just don't get you"

This is a very mild version of things before, but i realized that this is my big problem with him. He can't just leave it alone. when he said it was a mess i said i'd clean it. that was enough. he asked what was wrong (cause i'm pregnant and hormonal and i started crying, ugh...) i told him he didn't need to insult me and say things he knew would upset me. ... I wanted to tell him that yes, if he were single it probably would be clean, he'd eat take out everynight and just buy new clothes when his got dirty. that we have children and that if he helped with them or the house more often, i'd have more time to take care of the extra chores around the house... but i didn't. I explained that it hurts me when he says things the way he did. He said "sorry. guess i could have just shut up" I told him that i wanted to know if he was unhappy with something, but he didn't need to insult me in the process" he said. ok, i'm sorry. not sure if he meant it or not, but it was enough to drop the conv. thank heavens.

after that the night went pretty smoothly, no traffic which was a very plesant surprise, had a good time with the family. H took lots of pics and seemed to actually talk to people which is a big improvement.

my mom made a comment about me getting his plate ready for dinner. I've always done this. I just think its a nice thing i can do for him as his W. I just told her that he's watching the girls (he kinda was) and i didn't mind it.

thats it. any advice on how i could have better handled either of the conversations earlier would be great.