I want to fill you in on a few things so you can understand my sitch.
First things first, I am very happy with New Guy and my new life. I have a solid career, kids are good, I am very blessed.
In the past two weeks I have suffered a loss of a family member which has been hard, so I am sure it is reflected in my posts. I feel as though I am letting you all down by not being the "jovial" myturnnow. However, it is reality. I am dealing with a very narcissistic XH. That being the case, the more I pull away, the happier I get, the more curve balls I am thrown. The past month, I have stopped talking to him. The few texts and emails I have responded to were in response to his. I have tried so hard to maintain a cordial relationship but it doesn't work. I can honestly tell you I am facing the most difficult part of my D right now.
This is why:
XH is not happy with OW. So, he sees me moving on. He fluctuates between being borderline flirty with me to f.u. texts. It makes my head spin. I don't call, I don't get involved with his life. I am cordial. He is out of his mind trying to get my attention, good or bad.
The kids are begging me to have him here for x-mas. I don't want their x-mas to be ruined. I know if I said no, it still would be okay, but they have sadi over and over how much they don't want to choose between parents xmas morning. But I don't want XH here. If I am nice, he misinterprets it, if I am aloof, the kids misinterepet it.
I can honestly tell you I have no idea how to interact with this guy. The more I pull away, the more b.s. I get. All this stuff with OW and him has been shoved in the kids face. I COULD CARE LESS what the two of them do, but when my D10 comes home and asks me about match and her dad's dates and my S is on the web on OW's website, well, what would you guys do?
I said to my guy last night in tears, "I don't know anyone who keeps getting this stuff thrown in their kids faces as much as mine..I know on the boards I read about it, but in town, I feel like I am so alone at times."
In the past year, I have dealt with more stuff from OW and XH than I had in previous, possible identity threft (working on this, been reported, btw)inappropriate sexual behavior in front of my 13 year old son, now her putting my kid on her profile.
I think I reacted because this woman got what she wanted. She got my XH, my car, our business, part-time with my kids..I accepted it. But when I saw her on that pic with my son AFTER I had spoken with her last week, I lost it. The pic had a sexual nature to it that made me sick to my stomach. I cannot explain it. Her head was resting on my son's shoulder and he looked frightened. My T told me that her entire identity is all about sexuality. He said was worried about her involvement with a teenager in the upcoming years. I lost it. Just one more thing for me to worry about..
I understand how my posts can see how I am possibly too diverted to XH and her. All the bullying is getting to me since I have been dealing with finals, xmas and just other family stuff. It's like my tolerance is down and I am done ignoring all the crap.
I have ignored it for so long. I lived with this man and he was abusive for years.I don't I have moved on.
I dread going to my email everyday because now XH is sending me nasty emails(along with texts) about my D10 out of the blue. How she is "math illiterate" and he blames it on me. That is what triggered my mood yesterday.
He picks sh** out of the air to blame me for. And I think, here I am ..working my a** off to establish a career, play taxi service to the kids after work each day and do their homework. My D has been sick for a week and he tried to do math problems with her WEd night and she was tired. So, he shot off a nasty "blame MTN" email.
Then, I go out to lunch with my D (after we went to the doctor) and she tells me that S13 is on the profile with OW. She said it was weird and S13 was upset about it. She said Daddy showed her the OW's profile. WTF?
I have not asked nor cared about XH dating. EAch and every time these kids come home XH is talking about match to the kids. I diffuse it..I said good for dad..The kids are so confused..It's hard to be rock solid all the time for the kids when sh** is going on in my brain about XH, too.
NPD is a very dangerous personality disorder. BAsically, these people are not satisfied until they destroy those that have "figured them out" and do not give them their narcissistic supply anymore.
I don't know if this makes any sense. But I would love to know how many people still have their kids deal with crazy OW even when their XH's are done with them. She works for XH and they still say they are friends..So, it confuses the kids, they come home, ask me questions, I try to validate, and move on.
