NC, Speaking from my own childhood experience, it is SO important that your S not feel that his feelings are being ignored. Your H needs to hear him out and validate how he feels...not make excuses like "nothing wrong with sex, it is not dirty , it is designed to bring people closer together etc." He's 11 for Godsake! It's yucky to him and it should be!! Not to mention a kid can probably accept this intimacy with his own mother...but with someone he barely knows?? Poor kid.
It kills me how these men have this "the kids will fine" attitude about everything. This is the height of selfishness.
Could you and H go and see a counsellor together about co-parenting? And this could come as one of the topics. It sounds like whatever comes out of your mouth will sound like opposition for the sake of argument as opposed to what is in your S's best interest. Maybe a 3rd party could help your H see the repercussions of what he is doing.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this...my heart goes out to you and your S. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
