I hate to say this but I agree with Nop and the others about confrontation. I know Nop's views might seem a bit extreme but it was the course I took with my H once he told me about his A. He did actually tell me about the A rather than me 'discover' it, but I went public about it. Pressure from outside can be amazingly helpful and make one's S see things 'more clearly'. In my sitch OW's family, (her parents) new about the A and supported their daughter and helped her leave her H and kids. Things were much further along than they are with your W, ( OW had set up a 'love nest'), so it would have been easy for my H to split in some ways. My kids, friends, and both our families really made my H think. Also one of my kids contacted OW after they found out about the A - that had a major impact on OW.
I hope you are OK.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
