Quite a few comments on recent posted threads suggest that a WAS just leaves, has no contact and gets on with their new life.

That the MLCer leaves but remains in contact somehow, that they show some kind of connection even if it through anger and agression.

This info means that my H is simply a WAS, no contact, no spewing, no nothing, only just started to make contact with eldest S19, tried with S16 but has now backed off again.

Should I just give up now? am I wasting my time DB? I have always felt in the minority here on this board, I'm not able to post much info because I just don't have anything to offer.

It makes me feel very sad that H could be right, that although he spent 23 years with me that he didn't love me, that he married me thinking I would change and I never did.

It hurts to think that he stayed just because we had the lads to think of and he has left because he thinks they are old enough to go it alone.

It is tough to read posts sometimes, because quite often we recieve a wake up call -

WAS? I have been questioning this a lot recently, I think I have found the answer, If they go without making contact then I can count on it being over totally.

It is Christmas H's family carry on as if we don't exist, apart from one aunt who sent a card address to H and family, I wouldn't mind if she was out of touch with reality but she is fully aware, helped set him up in his new place.
I hope to think it was thoughtless rather than a cruel message.
I just don't know.

Two years of DB, being patient, being kind has just left H out there, enjoying life to the full, he is happy, he has everything he needs,

He simply doesn't need us, we are disposable assetts to him, I really think he feels he has done his job, he brought the lads up kept a roof over their heads, fed them, clothed them and now it is his time, and he feels justified.

He really thinks he gave me everything I needed, he thinks he cared, he believes I am to blame for all of this, I didn't change, I didn't match up to his expectations, I didn't continually support his every decision and act as "the little wife"

My H clearly had an Exit affair, he used her, she meant little, He told his mother this, Oh she's nothing, she's not why I left.

He wanted out, the only lingering was so he didn't have to move out 3 days before christmas, he denied the A long enough to enjoy the warmth and the turkey just once more.

He wanted out, it was just that I discovered his plan a little earlier than he had planned.

MLc I don't know, he did have classic signs, but I'm not sure now, maybe I put them there in the hope that it was.