Kind of a negative thing going on right now, I can't exactly put my finger on it. I am hoping he is just tired from it being the end of the work week and is letting outside stresses cause him to take it out on me a bit. Then things will be fine over the weekend. Everything has been average/fine, bordering on positive. I mentioned last night that I needed to make a trip to Target, but assumed it wouldn't be a good time to go. I was pretty surprised to hear him say, "go!" He acted like it would be fine to leave him with the kids and go to do that, (somewhat unusual for him to suggest.) So I ran to the store, tried to hurry, was gone from 8:30 to 10:00. MJ, I sure have been thinking about your advice lately to get kids in bed early. Believe me, i've tried. I would be happy with 9:00, but it never seems to happen. They were in the tub when I left. When I returned, I crept inside, assuming they were in bed, but no, they were "finishing watching a cartoon" then he was going to get them to bed. Well, it would be very typical of me to complain about them not being in bed yet (not so much because I am protective of their sleep, but just that he ALWAYS falls asleep around 10 or 11, so I have to do everything after that and we get no alone time at all.) BUT, keeping a PMA, I had a big smile on my face, dropped my bags and said come here... I walked into the next bedroom and shut the door, smiling at him, told him to lie down. Now, I didn't think this through long enough to determine EXACTLY what I was going to do, probably at least go down on him, but he immediately was like, "no, what, I'm not doing that now." I barely even got the door shut and he's going into this, so I immediately went to plan b, just snuggling then, no sex, since the kids were right around the corner, but I can't even get him to lay down. When he said no, I immediately said ok, just lie down, still smiling. He repeated it and then instantly got like, irate. He said "you're pissing me off b/c you're not listening to me!" At this point, I get his drift and my eyes kinda bug out, like OK! He thought I was trying to push him into something when I just intended for us to lie down and snuggle or kiss when he originally said no to anything more. He said he didn't understand that and I guess he was trying to "apologize" when he said, rather sarcastically in my opinion, "sorry if that was your intent, but I didn't get that." He was walking off, steaming and I said, "BOY!" Because I'm thinking what a pile of sh!t I just stepped in for no reason. He backs up and repeats what I said and give me a dirty look and says don't act like that when I'm trying to apologize. He is just pissy pissy pissy and nothing I can say is right. This is the guy who said he wanted "spontaneous, passionate sex where I am into it." So, he falls asleep and I am up till 6 in the morning doing stuff around the house. (yes, 6 - I have a night owl problem.) I called him this morning with some trivial question, sounded cheerful, he always sounds like he's at a funeral, kind of hushed, somber tone. I wish he would act happy to speak to me, but I try not to make a big deal of it.
Tonight, I cook dinner and he is just acting like he's got a mild chip on his shoulder. I asked him very nicely if he would make a mix cd of Christmas songs for Mari and I, so we don't have to keep skipping past the ones we don't like. It was subtle, but I was irritated at the way he like, paused, and said, "yeah, I'd have to stay after work to do it." I said, "you've made several before, did you have to stay after to do any of them?" For a while, he was taking his favorite cd's to work and making mixes all the time. He didn't say he couldn't or wouldn't do it, but he just kind of put off this air that it would be a pain. I repeated that I asked him really nicely, it's for DD and I and if he can't that's fine, but I thought he could do it on his lunch break like he'd done all the others.
I bought him an early Christmas present tonight that I gave him when he got home from work tonight. Black fleece pj pants. We talked about doing a "12 Days of Christmas" thing where we could give each other some little gifts each day leading up to Christmas. I know I'm into it more than him and I'm out in the stores more and all that, but I was hoping he would give it a shot. It's no biggie that he didn't have anything for me, but I hope at some point in the next few days, he decides to participate and give me a little surprise. The next thing I have for him is just a bag of trail mix. Nothing huge.
Any insight?
Thanks everyone!
PS Our company was cancelled for this weekend due to snow, so I asked him if he would mind if I scrapbook Fri night and he said yes, if he could have some alone time Sat. Sun, I am taking Mari to the Nutcracker.
