Hi, Lisa...I saw something you wrote on KML's thread...don't know anything about your sitch except that post and what I've read on this one. BUT, you said your H is still emailing the OW, says it's only friendship, etc.
I don't know if you know my sitch, but I'm the SAM in the M, and am learning SO MUCH about myself from this - SO GRATEFUL to my H for fighting so hard for the M (and for me! ), and I've been TRYING to learn about me for YEARS - DECADES, actually. This has been quite the catalyst.
Anyway, don't know if your H reads any of this stuff, or if you want him to at this point, but if you want to print out Sadbuthopeful's thread and mine (started under SBH's login ID, called "Sadbuthopeful's SAM"), then let him read this -- maybe it will help him --
I have been TRYING to get my OM to stop contacting me. When I was caught in the A, it took me about 2 hours to choose my H and my family (D5 S3). Took me better part of the past month to get rid of OM, and still not 100% sure he's gone. But, in trying to cut him off, the parts of me that were still connected to him became more and more highlighted. And as I continued to say "no," and he continued to say "I'm not going to abide by your wishes," I also learned what a sick/misguided man he is and it has made me even more (and MORE AND MORE!!!!!) grateful for the strenth, steadfastness, and devotion my H has given me through the past months of my A.
I was moving towards ending the A when H found out and confronted me. The fears, the self-doubt, that you face when you have to say goodbye to someone you thought meant a lot to you, well, they are excellent learning opportunities. And if you have the courage to face them, you become SO MUCH stronger. And your M does, too -- WIN WIN WIN!!!!!
), and I've been TRYING to learn about me for YEARS - DECADES, actually. This has been quite the catalyst.
