CVA - Have I Done Everything...No!

[Puddle]

Hey CVA,

A thought occurred to me here:

BAM, W says "S10 is saying mean things blah blah blah" , I said, "why is he saying that?" , W. "where do you think he gets that from" as she looks at me????????

This might have been a good opportunity (unless the kids were there at the time) to validate in the form of a question: Do you feel like he's heard disrespect of your family from me? Then listen, validate. If you know she believes that's true, you could've just said, "You're right, I haven't always been as respectful of your family as I should, especially in front of the kids." What do you think?

Well Efff, I compose myself and say "well, he does like to fish so that's not completley untrue and I never say anything bad about your dad fishing so...", She says, "well, he should be grateful for having a papaw at all let alone one that wants to do stuff with him". I agree with that and say I will go talk to him,which I do and everything is fine afterward.

Good for you! How did she respond to your agreement?

:) Proud of myself for remaining calm in this one as she was definitely attacking which is kinda new.

If that's new, CVA, you've learned something really valuable there. Imagine what could happen if you keep doing that instead of arguing with her.

Also, I totally agree with Nomo about the LL. It's not at all about you and what kind of response you get, what kind of appreciation you need (I'm guessing you're a WOA guy?). You just do it because you want her to feel loved. What greater gift is there than that? And man, if you can figure that one out, you're going to get some great gifts in return.

One of my favorite quotes is about kids, but pertains to everyone: It's less important how much we love our (kids, spouse) than how they experience those feelings.

Nomo, some rockin posts from you here! Thanks for sharing all that with all of us.

I also agree with GD about the gifts: personalized ones that say you recognize what's important to your partner and care enough to spend time and thought on the gift is worth more than any diamond. As Nomo points out, something for later.

Take care, (((((CVA))))).

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Puddle! I get tired of thanking Nomo, his stuff is too good, he should just write the book and be the famous rock star he should be!!!

What's a WOA? If its like a DILF, ill take it! JK!

C

[Gone Dancin']

What's a WOA?

"Words of Appreciation" from the 5LL.

[Not Much Left]

Oh doy! My mind is usually in the gutter so....

[Puddle]

Sheesh!

[Not Much Left]

CVA non-dating update
decided to go to son's xmas presentation, glad I went. He is such a great kid and we are so close, I wouldnt have missed being there for him for the world.

WC invited me over for a drink too early so I blew it off cuz of sons deal. Emailed her this am to see how it went and she said I missed the hot tub action? Pretty sure I am not going to get into her mess as it really sounds bad, despite how cute she is.

Oh well, I am just going to lay low till things are more settled one way or another. I cant take the drama. It is too distracting to think about my personal life and work and what is going on all the time with some other distraction, despite the fact it may be pleasant on the physical front.

Talk later
C

[Puddle]

Sounds like some solid reasoning, CVA---not always easy when there's an attractive woman interested in you. Good for you.

Son's Christmas thing sounds great!

Take care.

[Nomopo]

Glad you thought this through clearly, CVA.

Now, can I have her number?

Nomo

[Not Much Left]

867-5309 Oh, that Jenny's number from the 80's! No, not that one!!!

[Nomopo]

I'm serious Man! If she's so messed up, a little Nomo might be just what she needs.