I understand what you're saying about going through the motion sex. I had a knee jerk reaction to my C saying that and was disappointed at first thinking that my H could do that. I'm pretty sure that my C doesn't think this will be an issue, and after thinking about it, neither do I. The C asked H and I if we love each other and desire each other. We both said yes, but I said I was losing feelings for him, and H said we'd grown apart. Assuming we're both truthful, our sex should not be just going through the motions. It might be at first, but as the "doing" generates feelings, we'll be more comfortable expressing our passion. We're fortunate in that when we do have sex, it's good and not just going through the motions. The prob with us is frequency. He questioned H quite a bit about his motivations for being M to me and his feelings for me. He said that H's actions will tell the story over the next few months. The doing it will bring the answers. We'll either for a new habit of continued intimacy or discover that there's a roadblock. If there's a roadblock then the C will help us weed that out and deal with it. He says that analyzing up front takes so much time and sometimes it really is just that people are stuck and thinking too much. Sometimes we discover through the doing that our fears and inhibitions were holding us back needlessly. We think we can't move beyond them, but when we try it's easier than we thought at first... by then we're enjoying the payoff and choose not to pick those fears and inhibitions back up.
