Wow! Had to dig my thread out from page 6! I've not been around much this week. Been at a 4-day software class for work. It was a bad time to take a class -- I have a huge project due so upon getting home around 6 p.m., I've been sitting down at another computer and worked until 10 or 11 p.m. So my personal time has been pretty nonexistent this week.
Tonight was interesting. Things have been quiet with OW. H has been home quite a lot and the cell phones have been eerily quiet, too. The last time I thought things had been quiet, all h3ll broke loose. Well, it happened again.
OW called our house tonight, D answered. I was getting dressed for my aerobics class. D came and told me she called. D said she was looking for H but he was not returning her phone calls. Said she had car trouble. D said she was nice, and kept apologizing for calling.
A few minutes later, phone rings again. This time I answered it. It was OW again. I ended up having a 15-min 'conversation' with her. The entire ordeal was very surreal. She was very nice, very chatty -- in fact she wouldn't SHUT UP! She wanted me to tell H that she was home. That she had car trouble but made it home safe. She was really p.o'd at him because he was not answering her calls.
I told her that he was out doing something for work. His company is putting some videos together on their product and he was meeting with the videographer. I said he probably had his phone off or just couldn't answer (but as I said that I was thinking, what the F am I saying this for, it sounds like I'm making excuses for him!). She said no, he wasn't working. That he was supposed to be with her tonight. I said, well, that's what he told me. She said she was convinced that he was seeing another woman ... that he was cheating on both of us. (She said this several times throughout the conversation.)
Now, I didn't say a whole lot. I kept thinking, what I am supposed to say to this woman? Plus, she was so chatty, it was hard for me to say anything anyway! She was very nice, even polite, and apologized many times for bothering me. She even apologized for causing so many problems!! But she noted that she did not cause our marital problems. I actually agreed with that. (But I wanted to add that the A didn't help us!)
At one point, she got very upset when she turned the subject to children. She was talking about her oldest D who is in the Army and is currently in Iraq. They keep in contact via email. She's upset because she has not heard from her in 3 days. I was very sympathetic about that. I told her she was probably busy working and could not send email right now.
She went on a bit about my own D. The school concert was last night. My D plays flute and she had a couple of solos. OW said a friend of hers that was there said how well our D did. Went on and on about that. Said to please 'congratulate' her on it. (Yeah, right, I'll do that...)
She repeated several times that she was done with H. I could have him. He was my responsibility now. She also said that she thought his heart was still with me. In fact, she said she was done with men period. At that point, she talked about her own M and how her own H told her 7 years ago that her body repulsed him. That's when she started having boyfriends. They have not slept together in the same bed since. But her H got upset when he found out she had boyfriends. She talked about how she and my H got to be really good friends, then one thing led to another...
Before the end of the call, H got home. He came into our bedroom, I told him who was calling. He was astounded. Here's his wife, sitting in our bedroom, on our bed, talking to his OW. It must have been too much for him to handle because he didn't stay. He left the room.
The call finally ended. I told her I would tell him she called (why, I don't know). She said don't bother. She was home and turning her phone off and didn't want to talk to him.
By that time, I was running late for my class. I went ahead and finished getting ready and left. The only thing I had time to tell my H was that she didn't want him to call and that she was convinced that he was seeing someone else. He commented that judging from the messages she left him that she was drunk.
Like I said, I didn't say a whole lot. The woman had diarrhea of the mouth so it was hard for me to get a word in. But that's probably just as well.
I assume H and I will talk about this tomorrow. I went out to dinner with my aerobic buddies after class to celebrate the holidays and he was in bed by the time I got home.
