Update: I want to Salavage my Marriage

[PhD_ChrisD]

Hi All,

Yes, I would agree that the drinking is a problem. She probably is an alcoholic or borderline alcoholic. I do not know what to do but AA would be a logical first step.

I have been wondering about a lot of things recently. In no particular order:
1) If W is "working" on relationship, why does she need to go out 2 times a week?
2) Why does W prefer to sleep on the couch instead of our bed?
3) She has to be pretty drunk before sex is an option. She generally only has sex with me (3 times in the last 7 months)when she has done something wrong. Sort of a get out of jail free card.
4) W says she needs "baby steps" to get back to a normal R. Only recently has she invited me to even sleep in our own bed. As such, am I just to impatient and need to let her set the pace for which she is comfortable?
5) W still texts persons unknown and I do not know with whom she goes out. I am pretty sure there are other men, what I do not know is the nature (platonic, I hope) of their intent.

I don't know about these things. They concern me, but I wonder if I am just being overly concerned or insecure about it all. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Best,
--Chris