Not to sure about your state, and continue to document all you can in case you do need it, but going to Hooters and having a friend that strips are all legal. Now if she was putting the kids in harms way, around drugs and alcohol, that is diffrent. But I would keep that journal just in case your Attorney does need it for a big custody battle. 20k retainer for a divorce can go a long way, well maybe. There are huge diffrences in lawyer fees, my wife has spent close to 8k so far and I haven't even crossed 2k, and I got 10x the attorney she got. It also can become a war of atrition, if her attorney runs her dry on cash, she will kill herself and her case before you. So it's not all about the most expensive lawyer.
For instance in my case, my W asked for sole custody and more money in alimony and child support then I net in a month. She traded in a fully paid off car for a new car with a loan. I asked for everything split right down the middle and was very amicable. The Judge saw right through her game, they see it all day long, and so I got exactly what I asked for and she got nothing of what she wanted. Play fair and straight. Court isn't a place for emotional closure, they are there to merely legally seperate a couple and divide assets, less dramitic then you think.
