I do think he really deep down isn't sure he wants to go. Or maybe he's afraid he'll be making a huge mistake. I don't know. I just don't care anymore.
Last night he said as of today the kids would get their old dad back. He'd act his way through if he had to. So, on the way home the kids tell me on the phone that they found porn on our computer. I call H and tell him and he denies he's looked at any since we talked about it a few weeks ago.
H gets home before me. D18 just got home this afternoon from college for Christmas break. H speaks to her. No hug or anything. Not at all like old H. Barely talks to S23 and his gf and spends the rest of the night in the bedroom reading, goes to bed at 8 p.m. Some real effort to reach the kids, huh?
I went to workout and came home got a shower and watched tv with all the kids. He's a waste of space right now. S23 said tonight that he is completely done with him. The porn was the final straw.
Ughhh. This is the 3rd Christmas we've been in this mess. He is ruining our lives and he gets mad that everyone thinks he's responsible for it all! Well, who the heck is responsible? The rest of us are still human!
I almost wish I'd come home and he and all his stuff would just be gone. I don't want to see him leave, and I don't want the kids to have to see it. He's not capable of stepping up to the plate and being a dad to these kids. They are ashamed of him, I'm sorry to say.
He informed me this afternoon that Marilyn Manson tickets go on sale Saturday morning and we can't go shopping until he gets his on the internet. My H is 46!
"Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life." Mary Oliver
