WAW hasn't walked yet, but emotionally dead

[mako]

Well, I got the cell phone bill yesterday. I already knew something was going to be abnormal as I mentioned somewhere above, but this was a doozy.

W talked on the phone for over 2000 minutes with a guy she used to work with. Yes, just under 34 hours in one month, with one person.

This guy lives in California now but is in the area occasionally, he even went to lunch with W shortly before we separated. He's about 40, D'd earlier in the year. They were pretty good friends from work, so she mentioned these things and I knew he existed, but I have never been the jealous type (W hates that type anyway) so it didn't matter to me if she had male friends. I've also heard from a mutual friend that W is going to California around Christmas. Hmm.

I know that snooping ain't really the way to go, but this was staring me in the face and like a bad accident scene I just couldn't look away.

I should mention that I looked back at some old bills as well. Nothing seemed strange until September there were a ton of calls with this guy. I now recall a number of times she went outside to talk on the phone "because the reception inside was no good," or she'd always make a point to take her phone when she walked the dog. Lots of working late too...Ok. Not surprisingly, this was also when W seemed coldest to me and unimpressed with any efforts to work on the M.

Anyway, I have no idea what if anything is going on, but it seems pretty clear that something is, 34 hours of talking isn't likely to be innocent talking with your buddy type stuff. I also know that whatever is going on there's nothing I can do about it so I can't consume myself. But I'm not happy...I guess it is making things easier as far as moving on, as I don't like her very much right now. I always said to myself I could forgive an A, and she doesn't even consider us to be married at this point, but it's a lot harder when it starts seeming like a reality.

As for us, we've had little contact, just e-mails here and there. As for me, haven't been doing too much, been kinda overwhelmed with work, that will end soon though.