Dave - thanks! No kidding, totally surreal. I need to check in on you too - but will also say it here, have a great Xmas!! Can't believe it's less than 2 weeks away.
Blindsided - no worries, not an intrusion. I'll come by momentarily.
--------------- Quick journaling.. had a pretty good day. Got about half of my to do list done, which is pretty good when my list is so long! Still need to get on the ball with Christmas shopping/wrapping/decor stuff.. but happy that now the house is clean, stuff is straightened up, fishes have a clean tank, stuff like that.
This morning with H was a little weird. When we first woke up I wished him a Happy Birthday. He flashed me a huge smile and thanked me - then a few minutes later said in a really depressed voice "I feel so old." Didn't stay down though, so I was glad for that.
I finally asked him if he had plans tonight since he clearly wasn't going to bring it up. I know I could have made other plans but I didn't feel right about it without at least asking what his plans might be (and I really was going to be OK if the answer didn't include me at all - that felt good).
He kinda grinned and said "Well maybe... will you take me out to dinner for my BD?" That really surprised me. Then said "Oh, and planning to eat some spice cake, too. It smells so good!"
He thanked me again for setting up his coffee too. In past years I'd usually have gotten up way early and made him a big breakfast then ..ahem.. woken him up in a very enjoyable way . So it was very different today - but I feel like I did ok, being part of his birthday without over-doing things. Got him a racing related gift but nothing extravagent and will be taking him to dinner in a bit. Feels good that he wants those things from me.. wants me involved in his life.. and is giving me more in return.
I realize the awkwardness also kind of emphasizes how out of whack things are... but really, our old M IS over, so it makes sense not to do things the way we did "before" right?
In any case - not letting expectations grab ahold of me... and glad that the day's gone as well as it has so far.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
. So it was very different today - but I feel like I did ok, being part of his birthday without over-doing things. Got him a racing related gift but nothing extravagent and will be taking him to dinner in a bit. Feels good that he wants those things from me.. wants me involved in his life.. and is giving me more in return. 