Don't know what I'm doing anymore - Help.

[Pudmuddle]

Hi ann,

just an observation on what you wrote about him not talking anymore. He is probably afraid to start talking because you might bring up painful R talk. We all here know you won't do that.

So, my suggestion is to ask him how his day at work was, and only talk about that. Really listen to what he says about work, look into his eyes, face when he talks. As the my friend Puddle told me once "Being heard is powerful". Try the test and monitor mode of DR. Ask him things about himself, like work, what's new at work, how is his boss doing, are they having any potlucks, office changes, etc. Just normal stuff, and practice validating this simple talk. When he sees you won't turn it into R talk, he will feel more comfortable around you. In my story, I did this with my H for WEEKS, only talking to him about his work, and soon he began to detail the whole dang day! LOL. Not that I wanted to hear all of that, but it showed me a small positive sign that he felt more and more comfy around me enough to one day start GUSHING R talk to me. It can work, ann, just take it slow, test things out and watch for the positive signs.