Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 9

[Heimlich]

GD,

Thanks. I've a good sense of self, what I want, what I need, etc. I do what I want to do in the best way I know how, regardless of approval/disapproval from folks. Always have. I don't mean that to sound as callous as it might come across, but it's true. While I prefer people to have a good opinion of me (who doesn't), my sense of who I am/self-worth comes from within.

I remember talking to my mom about my stepdad and why his BS didn't bother me. "He's nothing to me. Why should his opinion matter?" My mom. My W. My Pawpan. My girls. And my best friend. Those are the people who could (can for everyone but my W) really cut me with their disapproval and make my heart sing with their applause.

My head and heart are where they have been for the last two months, really. I prefer to reconcile with my W. In my heart of hearts, yes, I wish that to happen -- for my girls, for me, for my W. I don't think it is going to happen. While my W has many excellent qualities, like anyone, she has faults as well. I think those faults are going to be the reason our lives part. It just takes too much energy to NOT do something because she MIGHT come back. It's my life. I'll live it daily the best that I can.

BD