Simon, I have to say that it is obvious that your W has feelings for you and she despises those feelings (weird, I know) otherwise she could talk to you without being so mean. Her response to your D about Christmas and being with friends who care is completely juvenile. I really hate that our children show more maturity than one or both of the parents. I just had that conversation with my D when she was questioning some comments by her mom that she should grow up regarding her feelings about committment in a marriage. Amazing.
Simon, your wife is going to crash hard as Jack has said.
I thank you and really appreciate your post mmf, I always advocated that indifference was the opposite to love. And I read into her actions indifference.
