Yes, I have owned up to the things that I did that did not help the marriage. 2 yrs ago. Then I did a 180 and changed. I did not fight, I discussed. Etc, etc etc. Nothing however made a difference. In his mind the damage was done and nothing would erase the past I was told many times. So no matter if I became a saint it would not help. His statement "I tried" is not about xmas. He says that about the marriage in general. But in my mind he made no effort. Still refused to communicate. Wouldn't go to counselling, group, anything. Says he was doing it his way.

Sorry, I am a negative person and I just can't get over it. Perhaps if I had a choice in the matter I would look at it differently, but in my mind I did not and it is not fair to myself or my kids. Yesterday D8 said she wished he still lived at home. She said people have kids and then break up when the kids get bigger. I told her to discuss it with him, I was not the one who moved out.
Just when I think I seeing a light at the end of the tunnel I have another bad night like the other night. He took the kids on my night which started it, without arranging it with me first. I told him about it. He said at the beginning of the call he didn't have to listen to my crap anymore. So frustrating.

Me 43 H 44 S-13 D-9
Separated 90 days 6/28/05
H Says he is done-10/2/06-day after 18th anniv
Moved out 10/2/07-to father's house-day after 19th wedding anniv-GF now
H Filed for D 7/08