Well... of course I can... it's a public board... tee hee.
As a former LD woman myself, I think it is important for LDs to understand that sex, MOST of the time, is not the Hollywood or Romance Novel Version experience.
Miss IC... sex (to me) is a form personal expression, and if you have an orgasm while expressing yourself... that is awesome. Sex, for me, is about what I am willing to discover about myself and sharing that with my partner. Feeling safe to try something utterly new and seeing how he responds (or not).
But what sex ISN'T ... is a constant state of those feeling you have right before you O... you know what I mean?
And truly... guys are built to pull the wagon. They are bigger, stronger, and they... I dunno... are more into it. It's, like, cool, to pull the wagon. Not saying you can't pull it at times... but... you ARE better suited for riding in the wagon (with enthusiasm and willingness to explore, and enough honesty to say you don't particularly like or enjoy the road he's thinking about going down). It's a team effort.
You really are doing okay... sex is not a constant state of euphoria... but think of it this way... we women are vulnerable and emotional almost all day, every day of our lives. Guys really aren't... so... when they GET to be that way... can you see how that would be attractive to them? I mean... imagine a day without hugging your kids or talking to another human being... ALL DAY LONG (not that guys do this, I'm just trying to think of a comparison for you so you get it)... by the end of the day... how do you think you might feel?
You aren't supposed to feel any other way about sex than how you feel. It's okay. You are being honest about it... you are taking some risks... and you are present about it.
I think if IC were unhappy... or if IC wanted to try something different... he'd tell you. I know you want to please him... that is so cool. But know that is also VERY OK to please yourself... explore... try things... and if you don't want to at this point in your life... do your best.
