Ok, I've been thinking (usually not a good thing ) and not sure what to make of this or if I can get my point across to you in a clear manner but here goes...
Well the lioness most definitely made a guest apprearance last night and quite frankly I'm surprised to see IC posting this morning...guess he has more resiliency than I expected
Anyways, here is my problem..and I'm not looking for any pulled punches just because both IC and myself are both on here - we're both well aware of how I feel. Now let me see if I can get my point across - I have a tremendous desire for IC...the sex is grrreeaatt ! I feel so emotionally connected to him during sex but yet I don't feel a desire for sex ???
Picture IC & myself with one of those little red radio flyer wagons whereas the wagon represents sex. I'm sitting in front of the wagon and IC is pulling me along down the sidewalk..it's enjoyable, but IC's doing all the work. Now there are times (like last night) where we'll come to a large hill where IC will give the wagon handle to me for me to steer while he jumps in back of the wagon and enjoys the free-wheeling down the hill...but yet when we reach the bottom, I stay in the wagon and IC jumps out and starts pulling us up the next hill.
I'm just afraid (because it's happened before) that IC will grow tired of this constant pulling and eventually drop the handle and go off and play cowboys and indians...or whatever else little boys play these days And there I will sit...alone in the wagon, waiting and hoping that IC will come back and pull us up the next hill, but unwilling or..or should I say un-desirous to get out and help pull it, or even dare to let him ride while I pull. It doesn't seem to matter to me how enjoyable the ride is...I'm willing to participate, and enjoy but I'm content to also just sit there, alone, in a motionless wagon...waiting and hoping - that scares me!
- Didn't want to tie up Mojo's thread -
Honey,
I might be way off base on your fears. But I'm not going to stop pulling the wagon...the only reason that I dropped the handle before is that a lot of times, the wagon was empty or so it seemed. Now maybe the wagon was empty due to the way I was pulling it..the direction I was taking and this left you feeling uncomfortable or out of control..whatever, so you felt the need to abandon ship {or wagon in this case}
Would you agree that we have come quite a long ways from the time I originally dropped the handle and you originally jumped ship? Is it different now that I'm not constantly dragging the wagon along in a way and in the direction that I want or think we should go? That I can and do just give up the handle for you to steer at will, while I enjoy the ride with you...a ride that takes us on a path that you want to take us on?
) and not sure what to make of this or if I can get my point across to you in a clear manner but here goes...