To me the night doesn't sound that bad. At least I think that you did real well. You listened and validated her feelings even when you might not have agreed with them and they were hard to hear. She's obviously confused as to what she's doing in life right now. You let her know that you think that things can be better.
W is defiantly confused - I think part of her misses 'us', but she won't let her defenses down in order to try again. Maybe that will happen with time.
Originally Posted By: bhopeful
I don't think that you are in a worse place than you were before. If anything you know more information now, right? I don't think that you need to do anything different right now. You need to be a pillar of strength and consistency because she is confused and lost.
I agree - She is looking for reliability and a lack of turmoil in her life, which obviously she isn't doing too well at right now. I had a pretty rough morning, but I feel much better now. We're having dinner with her Mom (she is taking care of D while we're out of town), so we're going to have lots of time to ourselves over the next couple of days.
Originally Posted By: bhopeful
It sounds like she's talking about the infatuation stage of a relationship. Are you speaking her love language? I'm not sure how you get her to realize that real love is a choice, but that's the realization it seems like she needs to come to. I'm sure that you already know this though...
Her love language is service (I think - It's certainly not any of the other ones), but she fiercely resists anyone doing stuff for her because she is afraid no one is 'dependable'. I've been able to do a few bits and pieces over the last couple of months, but it isn't anything particularly significant. Plus she most likely thinks it's just BS to win her back, rather than 'real' desire to help her.
