H said our M is "platonic"

[Dom R]

So that was the gist. It was very awkward this morning but he just said "I'm really sad about this" and went to work. I feel like a dirtbag right now. I don't want to hurt him. I just don't know what else to do.

Well, how about really putting all your cards on the table, and telling him straight up... "I want good sex from you at least once a week, or i'm leaving you" ?

No counsellors needed. No more arguing whether or not it's important to you.. or whether it "should" be important.
Just clearly state the boundary that you have.
ie, the boundary of, "I wont stay in a marriage that does not meet my normal healthy human needs, of regular good sex for me"


Then it's on him whether or not to do something about it.
If he chooses not to do anything about it.. .then it's his choice, and you dont have to feel bad about it.

Yes you've told him before, that sex is "important to you".
Putting it this way, is different.