You were all right...unfortunately...

[bombardier50]

Chromo, I know you're right. I have seen many clues that she feels bad inside about this.

Let me give you a little background on my wife so more of this might make sense. I'd like to hear what everyone thinks.

My wife's dad died of cancer when she was 16. This, as expected, completely devastated her. She LOVED her father. Two years later she married a controlling, abusive jerk, and had two kids. She divorced him six years later. Eighteen months later she met me.

My wife never had an opportunity to grow through adolescence. She went straight from horrible trauma to marriage and motherhood. She didn't have a chance to date and fall in and out of love several times. After 23 years of marriage, no matter what, you're going to eventually lose those original feelings of intense love. It's just not going to be the same. And if there's a little stress and tension in the marriage, it's going to feel even worse. She has never really formed a clear identity of herself. She's empty inside. She's always poured herself into her kids and me, and never really developed a sense of identity.

So when we were going through some troubles (money), and she felt like she couldn't emotionally connect with me, she looked elsewhere. My friend happened to be conveniently available.

And here we are today.

I know I've got a lot of pain in front of me. I think the only way we're going to be able to go forward is if she abandons this EA and decides to work on herself. Otherwise, we're just going to jump from affair to affair as she looks for a way to fill the emptiness inside.