Pregnant and abandoned #3

[WAS32]

What kind of music do you like? Find some really good songs that are upbeat, make a Cd of them and when your feeling down listen to them. Like, I Will Survive or Crazy Bitch. Things like that can bring your spirits up. Dance like nobody is watching!!! How about Carrie Underwoods, Before He Cheats!!! Always makes a girl feel better when She's taking the bat to his truck. You know you can't do it but it's fun to think about. Find things that make you smile.

[blindsided1]

Like I suspected, he didn't call last night like he said he would. It really makes me feel down. I kept trying to tell myself maybe he just got busy at work or whatever. But, it still hurts that he couldn't call me to see how I was doing or feeling. I feel like I have lost him. Up until last Saturday, he would call or text almost every day. But, we didn't go longer than 2 days max and now I haven't spoken to him in 5 days. The only communication was yesterdays short text and a promise to call me which didn't happen. My Mom says that I am refusing to accept the fact that he left me. I am. I keep thinking he is going to come to his senses and come home.

I woke up this morning in the middle of a dream. It was nice. He was in it and we were hanging out and it was good. It felt good. I knew he loved me in that dream. So, when I woke up I felt good for the first time in a long time. But, it didn't take long to realize that it wasn't real and the reality is that he IS gone.

I want so bad for him to come home. I want so much to know that he is thinking of me and still loves me. I keep trying to figure out what is going on that would make him not call me or talk to me for so long. Is he mad? Out of sight, out of mind? Is he soooo happy in his new life he doesn't have time to think about me? Is he trying to see how it feels not to talk to me for a while? I miss him, a lot.

[Startingover2]

He is not thinking of you or the baby. He is thinking of himself and no other. Maybe his is thinking of you, but knows that contact just makes you upset and he doesn't want to face it. They haven't shown themselves to be people that are accountable. They run instead of facing tough issues.

[blindsided1]

Then what are we doing here? Do they ever go back to being the H? To being there for you? To loving you again? It hurts because I feel him pulling away. I don't want him to get use to his new life without me. It's killing me.

[blindsided1]

Then what are we doing here? Do they ever go back to being the H? To being there for you? To loving you again? It hurts because I feel him pulling away. I don't want him to get use to his new life without me. It's killing me.

[blindsided1]

Then what are we doing here? Do they ever go back to being the H? To being there for you? To loving you again? It hurts because I feel him pulling away. I don't want him to get use to his new life without me. It's killing me.

[phbear316]

Blindsided

I know the pain you are feeling, your H is gone, your having a baby, you feel totally lost and helpless.

You have to start bringing positives into your life, heart and mind. With great suggestions from folks here, try to do things they suggest, like listen to upbeat music, (love that crazy bitch song) I find reading, doing word find puzzles, listening to podcasts like Joel Osteen, I love his voice, very soothing southern drawl. Passes the time. You will always be thinking about you H and situation, but i find keeping busy moves the time. Maybe church even this weekend. I went the first this past sunday after too long of an absence, I am looking forward to going this sunday.

Do you have an Ipod or mp3 player? Itunes has free and great meditation podcasts on there. I am a total disney fan, I download free podcasts and listen to them, close my eyes and imagine i am walking down main street. You could just listen on your computer also.

Watch cooking shows, maybe even make something you saw on tv. My goal next week when my h leaves to go to fla, is I'm going to bake cookies. Do i need to eat them, no, should I no. But bring them to work, give them to family. Do something that makes you feel good.

Now you have a gift from god comming in the early summer, I'm sure you need to get a room ready, paint colors, etc. Do you know how to knit or crochet? If not why not take a class at your local michaels or AC Moore. They are about $15. Make a beautiful baby blanket for you and your baby to snuggle in. I had started a crochet blanket last year, and did not finish it. I restarted it after H dropped the second bomb on me in Sept, It felt so good to finish that blanket, and see how I put my mind to it and i finished it. I have bought more yarn and I have started another one. Don't care what i do with it, but it keeps me busy at night.

I know your pain, you will do anything to get your H back, to fix it all. Right now you like I have no control over him. You need to keep YOU happy. We can only control ourselves, for both your h and my h are off in another universe, one we cannot reach them at right now.

Be strong, you can do this
phbear

[blindsided1]

But, you all must know what it feels like to have them slipping through you fingers. It's like you lose a huge part of what makes you, you. He was my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my husband, my fixer. I can't talk to him about my days or what's bothering me or just hold him when I feel blue. How can it be so easy for him to just erase the last 6 years and move on without a care?

[phbear316]

Blindsided

I wish i had the answer as to how they can just flip a switch and decide our whole lives for us. I don't hold the key to the lock into their minds.

Yes, you feel your h is falling right thru your fingers, yes it hurts, But your h is not thinking clearly right now. He is wearing blinders over his eyes, and his ears have fallen off, so he cannot see or hear you. No matter how much you try to show him, by crying or being sad, it really makes him feel worse and is pushing him away.


But, there is one thing you have that your h does not, all of us here, on top of family, and friends. I think you meantioned about a sister? I am an only child, I have no brothers or sisters, only my parents,who have been wonderful. Yes its tough for them also, they are losing a son, they don't understand. But my mom sent me a beautiful christmas card. I cried for about 20 minutes after i read it. There are people out there who do love you. And you have all of us here, who will walk with you thru this.

Believe in yourself. For a stronger you is soon to come

phbear

[JennyF]

It's like you lose a huge part of what makes you, you. He was my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my husband, my fixer.

That's why it's time to figure out who YOU are. You don't NEED him to define you.

I felt this same way, But I'm realizing that I can't rely on him to make me happy. I'm finding myself again and it feels good.
J~