First thing I would advise which has helped me immensely - accept first that a divorce is a possible outcome of your sitch, but dont think that it is the only outcome. Once you are at peace with the fact that it is possible you can clear your head and begin to work on what you are going to do. Secondly, when she speaks of D affirm her feelings... "I understand that D is a possible outcome and you feel that will help us..." etc the key is to validate her feeling about the D without admitting that it is something that you agree with or want.
Use this validation process with every convo that you have. Validate her feelings at all times and make sure that you are doing some 180's that will help you change your behavior. Lastly, try to let her pursue you a little. Let her miss you a bit, and do not bring up R talk at all.
If you are positive, affirming, and disarming there may be a chance for you. I have help by keeping a journal of my and her behavior so I can remember what is going on in various sitch's, you may find that useful as well.
Most importantly - DO NOT FILE FOR D. If she is done with the M let her do it. By telling you to do it she is trying to escape the responsibility of her decision. She needs to understand that this decision has consequences and one of them is the process of filing. Don't tell her that as much, but be polite and tell her that she would need to file. You would then be served etc.
You may also want to see if your company offers some legal services so you can get a consult with an lawyer, at the very least you will understand your options.
Good luck.
Me: 33 jacka** whom lied, stole, cheated, and basically treated DW like crap for years DW: 29 kind soul who gave too much to me over the relationship
S7 S4
M: 7yrs Bomb: 10/19 Seperated: 10/24
The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce
