And there I will sit...alone in the wagon, waiting and hoping that IC will come back and pull us up the next hill, but unwilling or..or should I say un-desirous to get out and help pull it, or even dare to let him ride while I pull. It doesn't seem to matter to me how enjoyable the ride is...I'm willing to participate, and enjoy but I'm content to also just sit there, alone, in a motionless wagon...waiting and hoping - that scares me!
That scares you, so it's quite likely you have another fear or anxiety that's keeping you in the wagon. Do you have any idea what that fear might be? It may be something big or something small that seems big because you haven't named it. You may have to do some soul searching.
P.S. "Fear of rejection" might be a good area in which to start the search.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
It doesn't seem to matter to me how enjoyable the ride is...I'm willing to participate, and enjoy but I'm content to also just sit there, alone, in a motionless wagon...waiting and hoping - that scares me!
Mrs. NOP, are you out there? You might be the best one to address Miss IC's concern.
All I can tell you is that it's like there really is a little monkey that lives in my brain and she jumps up and down working a little pump and the little pump sends chemicals to other parts of my brain and my body and I get a strong urge/craving/desire to find me a boy with a wagon to give me a ride.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
The sad thing isn't that GP and I broke up. The scary thing is that we might actually have wound up married if I had actually been divorced when we met. You guys really need to do a better job of watching out for me. I consider you to be my virtual duennas/big brothers. Do you even know the terrible fate that is usually destined to girls who are whisked away to Gretna Green by forceful men who play at hazard?
I'm thinking that I need to find a level-headed f*ck-buddy to keep me out of trouble for a while.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
It doesn't seem to matter to me how enjoyable the ride is...I'm willing to participate, and enjoy but I'm content to also just sit there, alone, in a motionless wagon...waiting and hoping - that scares me!
You both have enough heart, soul, willingness, commitment and ingenuity to make it work, so don't worry. I can relate to you, Miss IC, because too much sexual crowding and you're LD and too little sexual interplay and you're LD too ( like I say, you are lD enough that a good book looks good)...it's the Goldilocks syndrome of sexuality, and it makes it hard on the guys! But, it can lead to some really fun discussions, and some really great interactions, like the one you just had! I know with my mechanically minded H, what's really gotten through to him is helping him see that I have a sensitive "starter" button, but once I get going, well, let's say the fuzzy robe comes off and I am ready to go. We have learned to make jokes about all this... he personalizes less, I feel less pressure, there's less rejection all around, etc. And you know, there are days where I am just not in the mood, and that's okay too, but I keep a 2 day rule, so that feelings don't get too hurt.
Anyway, I think you are just great, you are still my hero, Miss IC.
Picture IC & myself with one of those little red radio flyer wagons whereas the wagon represents sex. I'm sitting in front of the wagon and IC is pulling me along down the sidewalk..it's enjoyable, but IC's doing all the work. Now there are times (like last night) where we'll come to a large hill where IC will give the wagon handle to me for me to steer while he jumps in back of the wagon and enjoys the free-wheeling down the hill...but yet when we reach the bottom, I stay in the wagon and IC jumps out and starts pulling us up the next hill.
I like this analogy. Anything else it applies to besides sex, in your R? I would say its pretty common. Seriously, why do any work when you can find someone to do it for you? besides we like showing off how strong we are. There was a time in my M when I decided to stop pulling the wagon. Sat right down at the top of the hill and said 'Im tired'. Like Mojo said, she just wanted to find a boy to pull the wagon, she didnt really care who the boy was.
Now, in my mind, I liken it to riding a horse. We were out of water, so I thought I would give her a rest. All I did was succed in wearying myself so that when she smelled water and bolted, I was to weak/tired/slow to stop her. Man the desert sucks without water.
In the desert, You cant remember your name, for their aint no one for to give you name fa la laaaa la la laa la From now on, Im riding that mare untill she drops. At least Ill be that much closer to the water, and fresh to boot.
I'm just afraid (because it's happened before) that IC will grow tired of this constant pulling and eventually drop the handle and go off and play cowboys and indians
at least when he is playing cowboys and indians, he is getting some feedback. More then likely if you keep cheering him on, he will keep pulling. Unfortunately if he breaks a leg, the odds say some OM will come along and offer to pull your wagon. Once his leg mends he can go find some other girl to pull in her wagon again.
Men are so willing to work hard in silence, it takes suprisingly few words of encouragament, and displays of apprecation, to release their inner well spring of determination and git r done. Some sickos even manage to carry on with broken legs.
Me. I say forgit the little girls in wagons. Little girls are for little boys. go lasso a mare and train it. ride that filly till she drops. You may just be close enough to water, because you reserved your well being, to come back and revive her. If not, you will be sad, but the horse wont be mad at you. Shell understand. Its her job. Heck even if she is mad, shell be too tired to buck much once you get her up and climb back on. and a little bucking every now and then is good for both of you.
The scary thing is that we might actually have wound up married if I had actually been divorced when we met.
Well that would be a good lesson to remember then. People who are serious about M, dont get involved with M people.
The other factoid Ill drop on you, is that normal (read not famous )men (and women) who have stalkers, are dishonest and incongruent, with there actions and intentions. long long ago, I had a male roommate who had stalkers. You havent lived untill youve had your front door decorated with colorful descriptors in various shades of lipstick, several times. Or listened to a woman screeching whilst listening to the screech of her keys on your roomates car, and praying its not going to be shared on yours. Ive worked with a few waitresses who had stalkers (and the requisite attention and drama) also. Im glad your pile of 'I dont care' was big enough. I figured it would be.
You guys really need to do a better job of watching out for me.
You really need to do a better job of watching out for yourself. There.
I consider you to be my virtual duennas/big brothers. Do you even know the terrible fate that is usually destined to girls who are whisked away to Gretna Green by forceful men who play at hazard?
I meant to add that MJ, you are my hero too, because you really know how to keep your own starter button going. I bet GP is disppointed somehwere that you aren't the vengeful type, and that you are in fact, just fine without him.
Im glad your pile of 'I dont care' was big enough. I figured it would be.
Well, just because I "let" a guy play me bunny doesn't mean that my monkey is in a cage. My Daddy told me I that I was pretty AND smart.
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You really need to do a better job of watching out for yourself. There.
Oh, I think I'll be okay for the time being. My bunny has got a pretty "thick' coat working and my monkey is just kinda shakin' hip down the highway whistling a cheery tune "Who's gonna haul me in his little red wagon, little red wagon, little red wagon? Who's gonna haul me in his little red wagon? Why should a bunkey ever walk when she can ride?"
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Where is Gretna Green, and what is Hazard? LMAO.
In Regency times if one wanted to marry a girl without parental permission, you could elope to Gretna Green. Hazard was the archaic high-risk game that evolved into Craps.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
In Regency times if one wanted to marry a girl without parental permission, you could elope to Gretna Green. Hazard was the archaic high-risk game that evolved into Craps.
Sounds like Vegas, Baby. Funny, there are quite a few romantic movies that include Vegas in them. Odd that.
and a little bucking every now and then is good for both of you. 