Pregnant and abandoned #3

[blindsided1]

Like I suspected, he didn't call last night like he said he would. It really makes me feel down. I kept trying to tell myself maybe he just got busy at work or whatever. But, it still hurts that he couldn't call me to see how I was doing or feeling. I feel like I have lost him. Up until last Saturday, he would call or text almost every day. But, we didn't go longer than 2 days max and now I haven't spoken to him in 5 days. The only communication was yesterdays short text and a promise to call me which didn't happen. My Mom says that I am refusing to accept the fact that he left me. I am. I keep thinking he is going to come to his senses and come home.

I woke up this morning in the middle of a dream. It was nice. He was in it and we were hanging out and it was good. It felt good. I knew he loved me in that dream. So, when I woke up I felt good for the first time in a long time. But, it didn't take long to realize that it wasn't real and the reality is that he IS gone.

I want so bad for him to come home. I want so much to know that he is thinking of me and still loves me. I keep trying to figure out what is going on that would make him not call me or talk to me for so long. Is he mad? Out of sight, out of mind? Is he soooo happy in his new life he doesn't have time to think about me? Is he trying to see how it feels not to talk to me for a while? I miss him, a lot.